It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
