do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
