do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
we're making bets on your personal life
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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