He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
