We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
