They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Randomize
