how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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