I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
no more duck duck goose at the bar
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Randomize
