My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
