he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
