he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
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