Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
