At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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