I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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