It's Friday. Sex?
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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