Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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