youre lurking in front of me
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
