I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
