Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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