i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
