Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Are my feet made of real feet?
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Everyone says I win the strip club
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
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