i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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