I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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