I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
