i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
