I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
and she was petting her beer can
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
