The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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