Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
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