Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
