wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Randomize
