I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
