and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
