omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
