More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
