Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
