No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
