Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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