i think my tv is drunk
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
