If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
operation harelip BJ is a go
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Randomize
