so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
