Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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