gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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