after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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