There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
