I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
