I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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