You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
