kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
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