i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
He keeps bees of course he's weird
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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