So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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