margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Your shirt... Was in my pants
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
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