he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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