Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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