with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Barsexuality is the new black.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
