Having a random hookup so left but love u
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Randomize
